~prism~mirror~lens~

This week I worked at my job three days in a row. I woke up uncertain of the day or the date. Sorted it out with my iPhone pretty fast.

I have a project for the weekend. I am making a pumpkin puppet for a contest at work. I have a clever idea now let us see if I can execute it the way I want to. I think I have all the pieces I need. Crossing fingers I have enough cloth.

Tomorrow is “No Kings” day. There is a local protest that I am going to join.

Sunday will be spent with friends.

Monday I must go meet with the funeral director for the family memorial.

Then back to work I go.

I have a life of sorts. Things that need to be done and things I want to do.

It is a big adjustment from the last eleven years or possibly longer.

I was Peter’s caretaker/stage manager/agent for a long time. He could play good cop all day long and I was willing to be the bad cop and get him what he was owed.

Now I am a bit adrift. For the first time in a long time, I get to think about me and what I want and need. And I honestly don’t have much a clue. I have sublimated my wants for others. There are a couple of things, but I really don’t have the money at the moment to do them. 

I am still waiting for the will to go through probate. There is not a lot in the estate, but it will help.

I am also trying to find a job that pays a living wage just like a lot of other people. I’ve been out of that job market for 22 years now. I am over 60. Not the first person who one would pick for a job. I am wondering if I should go back to school to get some other skills that pay better.

I have lots of skills that could be useful in the right job. I am organized and good at solving problems along with getting information quickly to the right people. And all the other skills I learned as a stage manager. I have office skills having started as an assistant at Del Rey and worked my way to Associate Editor. Honestly, I would be happy to have the job I had at Del Rey when I first started for the rest of my career.

Time is a funny thing. I remember things I did and then figure out that was over twenty years ago or thirty years ago or forty years ago. Forty years ago, I was stage managing my way around Atlanta and applying to go to the Yale School of Drama. It seems so long ago but also such a short time.

Having things happen on certain days gives me a sense of time but on those days. When I am on my own time, I can get confused. Thus, the use of a wall calendar and my handy electronics.

I am grateful for times past and present.

 
Last night was the 2025 Harvey Awards. 

 During the ceremony, Peter was inducted into their hall of fame.

 It was a nice awards ceremony with killer appetizers and an open bar.  Which is a good way to get the comic industry to show up.

 Paul Levitz gave the introduction for Peter. He talked about Peter’s love for the industry and how he was a friend you could count on. It was a lovely speech.

Then it was my turn to speak for Peter. I could feel the melancholy in the room. I decided to lighten the mood. I opened with, “Peter David is officially a ghost writer.” The room howled with laughter and applause. The mood changed and I talked about how Peter loved the industry and the people in it. I think I did well. I did get compliments afterwards and met a lot of people who had their own Peter David story to share. I learned from several how important his work is in their countries. It was comforting to know how beloved Peter was by his colleges.

Today I am taking a break from the convention. My right knee is acting up and I want a day to get it back in shape before hitting the floor one last time on Sunday as I still have some people to visit at the convention.

I am grateful that Peter is in the Harvey Hall of Fame

This is very important. Right now, it is a scary time in the world. I personally am concern for my country, the middle east, and tariffs that are costing me money when I buy something among other things. Have you looked at coffee prices and bag sizes? Shrinkage indeed.

My concerns are nothing compared to the people starving in the world or are worried about being arrested without cause or must wonder if their housing is going to survive the night. Globally the world is a mess. Small messes and large messes are in the news every day.

We have a Nor ‘eastern heading our direction. I am to walk the property and make sure everything is secured. Then it’s a hope for the best especially with the wind which brings destruction in its path. I am more worried for the folks in the Carolinas where it will hit first.

And all this is affecting people’s mental health. Especially the aftermath of destruction. They need to figure how to go on in light of what has happened in their lives. Not an easy thing to do.

I know the feeling of helplessness as I watched my husband’s health deteriorate. I got help which was the smart thing to do. I have no idea how big a mess I would be if I didn’t have mental health help. I feel a mess now, but I am a manageable mess. My emotions are day to day. Today I feel pretty even.

Asking for help is not a weakness. It is, in fact, a strength. Asking for assistance can be hard to do but it can be done. 

I’m really great of ignoring my body when it is ill. I have learned to see the signs when my mental health starts to slip and now do something about it. I have learned coping mechanism, so I don’t go over the cliff. If that doesn’t work, I have medication to help me through the very rough patches. Taking this help took me quite a while and with Peter’s help to see I need it.

So, on World Mental Health Day, do me a solid and check in on yourself. I want you to stay around. I know there is a lot of bad out there and it may be affecting you more than you know. Take a little time today to see how you are feeling about yourself and the world about you.

I am grateful for my mental health team.